As a non-denominational licensed and ordained minister for over twenty five years, I thank you for visiting my website. I also thank you for considering me as the pastor who will assist you, your family and friends CELEBRATE and REMEMBER the life of your loved one.  I treasure the opportunity and take very seriously my role as pastor, even if you have no affiliation with my church or any church.

I am a man of faith but I will honor your family’s faith background whether it is a lot, little or none.  This is your service, not mine.  I hope to be asked to pray a prayer of strength for you and your family, but I also know that prayer is not always common and normal for everyone.  So I will serve you in any way I can that best fits you and your family.

The service will be positive and uplifting 

The service will be a warm and loving embrace, a comforting sanctuary where compassion, love, and hope for tomorrow find their voice.  Every word spoken and every gesture made will be imbued with a profound sense of care and understanding. The atmosphere will be one of positivity and upliftment, a celebration of a life well-lived.

In today’s world, where grief and loss can often feel overwhelming, families are seeking meaningful ways to honor and commemorate the lives of their loved ones. This service will serve as a testament to the enduring spirit of the individual being remembered, a tribute to the love shared and the memories created. Through stories, music, and heartfelt reflections, the service will provide a space for healing, remembrance, and celebration.

The words spoken will be carefully chosen, each one carrying the weight of emotion and the depth of human experience. They will paint a vivid picture of the individual’s journey, capturing their essence and the impact they had on the lives of those who knew them. The tone will be one of reverence, respect, and gratitude, acknowledging the irreplaceable void left behind while also celebrating the life that was lived.

The service will be a testament to the enduring power of love, a reminder that even in the face of loss, the bonds formed in life continue to shine brightly. It will be a time for tears, but also for laughter, as those gathered share their favorite memories and anecdotes, creating a mosaic of a life well-lived.

By choosing a warm, loving, and positive approach, the service will provide a space for healing and comfort, helping families find strength and hope in the midst of their grief. It will be a celebration of a life that mattered, a reminder that love never truly dies.

Locations to CELEBRATE Your Loved-One

There are many venues to CELEBRATE and REMEMBER your loved one. You may be planning a traditional funeral at a mortuary, a short but intimate gathering at the cemetery (which is called a grave-side service), or an informal but personal time together in someone’s home, at a restaurant, or even on a boat. The location is not near as important as the life which is celebrated and the memories shared.

A time to say thank you 

An end-of-life ceremony is not only a time to CELEBRATE and REMEMBER, but it’s also a time to say “thank you for sharing life with us.” Saying “thank you” in a formal and somewhat public way, is a main ingredient in moving towards healing. Deep healing in our hearts often begins when we humbly acknowledge our loss with others who are also acknowledging their loss.

It’s your service, not mine 

The service (ceremony or gathering) will be co-created by me and as many or as few family members you would like to include. Ideally, I would love to sit down and listen to the words and hearts of those who knew the loved-one the most. Then, together, we’ll create an order of service that will reflect your thoughts and desires.

Why CELEBRATE and REMEMBER a loved one’s life? 

The journey of healing from grief and pain is a deeply personal and unique one. While the stages of grief may be common to all, the pace and manner in which individuals navigate these stages vary greatly. One key step in initiating the healing process often involves gathering together with loved ones, friends, or fellow grievers to celebrate the life of the departed and share memories.

This act of CELEBRATING and REMEMBERING serves as a powerful catalyst for healing. When stories, anecdotes, and cherished moments are shared, it creates a space for collective mourning and remembrance. It allows individuals to honor the life and legacy of their loved ones, providing a sense of comfort and solace during a time of great sorrow.

As hearts connect and memories are shared, a sense of community and support is fostered. This communal experience helps alleviate the isolating effects of grief, allowing individuals to feel understood and connected to others who are also grieving. Through the act of sharing, individuals can validate their emotions, find strength in numbers, and realize that they are not alone in their experience.

Moreover, by celebrating and remembering the life of the departed, individuals can begin to reframe their perception of grief. It shifts the focus from the pain of loss to the joy and gratitude associated with the memories and experiences shared with the deceased. This can help to gradually transform grief from a consuming emotion to a cherished part of one’s life story.

While healing is a lifelong process, gathering together to celebrate and remember can be a significant turning point in the journey. It marks the beginning of a gradual shift from intense grief to a more balanced state of acceptance and remembrance. By embracing the power of community, sharing stories, and honoring the life of the departed, individuals can take the first steps toward healing and finding renewed meaning in their lives.

Family is important

I would prefer to allow all the members of the family to help plan the service for your loved one.  Of course, the next of kin must make the final decisions, but everyone in the family should have the ability to give their personal input.

My preferred local mortuaries

Making funeral arrangements is challenging during grief. Consider your loved one’s wishes and discuss budget with family to honor them appropriately.

When planning a funeral, understand the financial capacity of the estate and family. Consider the budget and personal preferences, such as location and size of the event.

You may also want to think about whether your priority is to honor every single one of your loved one’s wishes or whether it is more important for you and your family to organize a funeral with significance to you. This is a key consideration that will inform anything from location to the type of burial plot you will choose to the budget you will allot to the funeral. 

If your loved one did not leave specific instructions about how they wanted their funeral proceedings to take place, weigh your options with your friends and family.

For instance, you may consider a cremation or green burial to be most in line with your loved one’s wishes or your family’s outlook. You might want a traditional funeral, or you might think a memorial that is unconnected to the actual burial is best.

Consider writing down how you think your loved one would have wanted their funeral proceedings to occur. You can then bring this list to your funeral home visits and determine what is feasible and what is out of reach.

Being prepared with knowledge of your funeral rights is also an important part of the process. The Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule states that you have the right to: 

• Receive pricing information over the telephone. 
• Get an itemized price list during your visit to a funeral home.
• Buy only what you need.
• Decide whether you want embalming or not.
• Choose an alternative container.
• Provide your own casket or urn without incurring additional fees.
• Receive a written statement itemizing everything you have chosen before paying.

Now that you have identified your priorities, budget, and preferred funeral arrangement, you are ready to start reaching out to funeral homes to see if their services and rates match what you are looking for and can do.

Find the names of funeral homes in the area, either from members of the local community or online. It is a good idea to check with your local Funeral Consumers Alliance to see which funeral homes in your area meet your specific criteria. 

Read over each funeral home’s mission statement and history. This will give you a clear indication of their values and how they do business. Also look at their facilities and services. For instance, does the funeral home offer transportation, embalming, or cremation services? What kind of equipment do they use? Is the space itself adaptable to your needs and religious inclinations? 

Price points for one service may differ significantly from one funeral home to another; drawing up a list of local funeral homes and comparing their rates could save you thousands of dollars. 

Once you have established a list of suitable funeral homes, also check online to see if any of them have received any complaints. You want to go with a reputable funeral home, not one where you may run into difficulty down the line.

You may also want to call any friends and family in the area to see if they have had any experiences with the funeral homes on your list. Personal recommendations are the best way to determine what you are looking for. 

Getting on the phone with the funeral homes on your list can help you cross off those that do not meet your expectations. 

When you call each funeral home, make sure to ask specific questions about rates and values. The funeral director might not have the compassion you are looking for or might not appear to have your best interests at heart. A simple phone conversation can give you basic impressions that can help guide your decision-making. 

After you determine which of the funeral homes on your list seem the best for your needs, ask to schedule a visit. You may want to bring a close friend or relative who is less emotionally invested than you are. They will provide a more objective perspective and help you make the appropriate decision. 

When you arrive at the funeral home, ask the director for their General Price List, keeping in mind the rights guaranteed you by the FTC. After you have toured the facilities and seen what they offer, you can review the Price List with them and see if their pricing and transparency match your expectations. Make sure the funeral director is willing and able to create a funeral arrangement that is personalized to you and your loved one, not just part of a standard package they offer. 

After your visit, discuss whether the funeral home would work for you with the person who accompanied you. For instance, did the funeral director seem receptive to your concerns, grief, and expectations? Did they seem trustworthy? How was the customer service? Did their staff seem authentic and caring? It is always useful to watch the interactions of the staff with one another, not just how they treated you.

Never select a funeral home that makes you even slightly uncomfortable. You want your funeral home to make this process easier for you, not more complicated. 

Finally, review the itemized price list the funeral director gave you and discuss it with your family. If you and your family feel comfortable about the funeral home, its rates, and its services, get back in touch with them and finalize the agreement. 

Choosing the right funeral home is very important to ensuring that you give your loved one the sendoff that will best honor them and their life. Partnering with the right funeral home allows you and your family to properly process your grief and memorialize the person you loved. They will be your hosts and guides through this complicated process, so be deliberate and careful in your decision and stay honest about what you need and expect