Choosing a funeral pastor is a sensitive but important task. Here are key steps and considerations to help you select the right person to lead a funeral service:
1. Clarify the Type of Service You Want
- Religious vs. Non-religious: Do you want a traditional religious funeral, a spiritual memorial, or a more secular celebration of life?
- Denomination or Beliefs: If the deceased had specific beliefs (e.g. Baptist, Catholic, etc.), try to honor that with someone from their tradition.
2. Ask for Recommendations
- Church Affiliation: If the deceased or family attends a church, start by contacting the pastor there.
- Funeral Homes: They often have a list of experienced clergy or celebrants who can officiate.
- Friends & Family: Ask if anyone knows a pastor who is compassionate, clear, and experienced with funerals.
3. Evaluate the Pastor’s Style and Approach
- Ask:
- “How do you usually structure a funeral service?”
- “Are you open to including personal stories or readings?”
- “Can we collaborate on the message or tone of the service?”
- Look for someone who listens well, is empathetic, and communicates clearly.
4. Consider the Pastor’s Comfort With Grief
- Some pastors are more pastoral (compassionate and present), while others may be more formal or theological.
- Ideally, choose someone who can balance comfort, truth, and hope, particularly if the family or attendees are struggling with loss.
5. Logistics
- Availability: Are they available for the date/time of the service?
- Location: Are they willing to travel to the funeral home, church, graveside, or other venue?
- Honorarium: Many pastors will not require a fee, but it’s customary to give an honorarium ($200–$350+ depending on time and travel).
6. Meet or Speak Beforehand
- Even a short phone call can reveal whether the pastor’s tone and demeanor match what you’re looking for.
Celebrate & Remember Funeral Pastor 