Open Mic @ Memorials

A NEW Format for Open Mic Sessions at Funerals & Memorials

Many of us, who have had the honor to conduct funerals and memorials, can all tell a few frightening stories of those who have stood up to say a few words (something we call “open mic” time).  

Many things can go wrong.  Here are the most common:

• They go way too long.  And after 10 minutes, the minister has to step in to try to get the person to stop
• They say something inappropriate about the loved one.  Often includes a story that they think is funny, but makes everyone feel very uncomfortable.
• They become preachy.  Suddenly they see this as their time to tell the world what to do and how to do it.
• They really did not know the loved one very well, but they see it as their responsibility to try to say things to make everyone (including the family) feel better.

Now after two years of changing the “open mic” format for my services, I can happily report that I have not had any issues or problems.  And this is good news for those who want participation from the guests, but have good reason to feel reluctant to do so.

New Format

Instead of offering to everyone an opportunity to walk up to the mic and say a few words (which is how it is usually done), I simply ask everyone, from where they are seated, to simply share two or three words that most clearly describe the loved one.   So consequently, I often hear things such as: honest, fun loving, hard working, loyal, smart, loved the slots, and so on.  Then I ask this question, “of all the things you will miss the most, what are the top three?”  Then i hear things like: her laugh, his smile, his text messages, her cooking and etc.  

Relax

With this new format, everyone including the family and the minister can relax and not worry about someone highjacking the service.  No one has the mic except for those the family asks.  And now we can all rest and relax and feel content at the celebration of life service.